Your friendships feel like work. Modern Friendship shows you why — and how to fix it.

We're more connected than ever and lonelier than ever. Something broke. Modern Friendship is Anna Goldfarb's answer to that. A journalist whose writing on friendship has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, and The Washington Post, Goldfarb spent years reporting on why our closest bonds fray and what it actually takes to maintain them. The result is a warm, funny, research-driven guide to the most underappreciated skill of adult life: being a good friend on purpose.

Inside, you'll find:

The "Three Ds" framework for maintaining deep bonds
Scripts for navigating awkward social transitions with confidence
How to stop ambiguous connections from draining your energy
Practical tools for turning casual acquaintances into people who actually show up

Become the kind of friend people can't imagine their lives without.

A Next Big Idea Club Must-Read.
On Adam Grant's Summer Reading List.
Forbes: a Top-10 Book on the Importance of Friendship.

For podcast or interview requests about friendship: press@annagoldfarb.com

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What People Are Saying About Modern Friendship

"When Anna Goldfarb writes, she makes you feel as if you’re her dearest friend. You’ll laugh, you’ll be charmed, and you’ll learn so much. In the confusing world of friendship, Modern Friendship is the compass we all need. Read it and your friends will be thankful you did.”
- Dr. Marisa Franco, psychologist and author of
Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
"Modern Friendship is a must-read for anyone looking to better understand the state of friendships today. Anna's such a witty writer, and her ability to make big ideas engaging and accessible is a gift. Readers are sure to have a few laughs between genuine moments of enlightenment."
- Danielle Bayard Jackson, Friendship expert and author of Fighting for Our Friendships
“Light bulb after light bulb appeared over my head as I read Anna Goldfarb’s wise and funny Modern Friendship. For all of us who feel like our friendships are too few, far-flung, or flatlined, her counsel is a decoder ring for deeper, closer relationships. This stuff really works, so do yourself―and your social life―a favor and read this book cover to cover.”
- Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists

Awards & Recognitions

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Awards & Recognitions *

Book titled 'Modern Friendship' by Anna Goldfarb, showing a colorful ring of overlapping circles and subtitle about nurturing valuable connections, with a note on a 14-day friendship cleanse.

Forbes said: “The internet may connect us to a great way to share knowledge, but it has also led many people to feel disconnected from others. Anna Goldfarb makes a case for the value of friendship and explains how to achieve it in a world where more and more people feel isolated.
This book is best for anyone feeling closed off from others. Anna Goldfarb’s Modern Friendship is available from publisher Sounds True.”
BookAuthority.org said: “Modern Friendship by Anna Goldfarb offers a fresh perspective on how friendships can thrive in the face of today's unpredictable social environment. With insights from her role as a friendship correspondent, Goldfarb explores why friendships often feel ambiguous now and provides a framework for fostering what she calls "Wholehearted Friendship." This book equips you with tools to better understand your social needs and to strengthen your relationships through practical exercises and thoughtful reflection. It's a timely resource for anyone seeking to deepen their most valued connections amid cultural shifts.”
Modern Friendship was named as a Next Big Idea Club Must-Read for June 2024
Modern Friendship was longlisted for the 2024 Non-Obvious Book Awards, which recognizes the boldest nonfiction books released in a year.
Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant included Modern Friendship in his 2024 Summer Reading List.